Dangerous Beliefs

Our thoughts and ideas shape our lives. They provide the lens with which we see the world and conduct ourselves. Over the Christmas break I had some time to reflect on some of the beliefs I’ve had or seen in others. I’ve come to realise that a particular belief can be the most dangerous thing of all. If you have something cemented into your head, there will be no shaking it loose. Being questioned will often make you dig your heels in deeper, as your defensive ego takes centre stage.

Dangerous ideas are at the crux of some of the world's greatest issues, but what does it mean for the everyday person? Here’s a few ways they have taken shape for me, and my suggestions on how to rattle their cage.

You are as good as your job title.

As someone who has moved for their career, I understand the importance of work and how it can dominate your life. It can become your whole world if you let it (hint, don’t). There is a sense of validation that comes with a lofty title and working for a prestigious workplace, but the danger here is when you start to believe that it defines you. You will never be able to stop others from determining your value from your career, but you can take that pressure off yourself. What will always come first is the relationship you have with your family and loved ones, the way you conduct yourself, the compassion you show others. Work will never be fully certain, but your role as a mother, sister, friend, a good community member will be. Remember this.

You do you, boo.

I’m not sure when this became part of the vernacular, but it is everywhere. At the root is a supremely selfish belief that ‘I’ am the most important person and I should always put myself first, and do as please.

I see a huge problem with this way of thinking. If we all do what we want, based on the pursuit of pleasure, we don’t consider others and take in the wider needs of our workplace or community. If we all stopped doing whatever we pleased, wouldn’t we have more time to see what someone else might need?

An also equally dangerous idea attached to this is ‘do what makes me happy’. Your feelings change all the time, so it’s unwise to chase after them. What makes you happy today might change tomorrow.

Instead of doing what makes you happy, I ask you to consider doing something that aligns with your values, or to make a decision based on something that will help your future self. Or even more radical, doing something just to help someone else. You never know, it might just make you happy after all.

I need to look like (insert whatever aesthetic here) to matter.

I know, I know, you’ve heard it a million times before, but you have to admit you either do or have thought this way. I still have this come up for me too. But it aint a way to live, and never will be. Whilst being physically and mentally healthy is very important, striving over a certain aesthetic and basing your value on it, isn't.

Your worth is not determined by your appearance. I repeat, your worth is not determined by your appearance. Your body is a beautiful vessel that you need to love and respect. You are no more or less if you have abs, a round belly (hello me!), guns, no guns, hair, no hair, it’s endless.

For over 23 years my brother has battled serious and ongoing medical conditions. At just 40 he needs a walker to go to the letterbox. Do you know how lucky you are to be able to walk freely everyday? To bend down to tie your shoes? To breathe, unrestricted? To be able to digest food and have it nourish your body? You are BLESSED.

Now, what do we do with those that judge us based on our appearance? You can’t control how others think or treat you, but you can control your response. It;s important to ensure you have strong values and ethics (and faith, had to sneak it in there), and find your strength and identity there, and not in the superficialities of the world.

I’ve got this.

You might be wondering what I mean here, so stay with me. It does sound inherently positive, but an ‘I’ve got this’ mindset is stemmed in individualism. Thinking that you’re able to do life on your own is a dangerous thing. We are made to live in community, but feel epidemic levels of loneliness. Trying to tough out any situation on your own means you carry a burden you were never meant to.

We do not all have close family and friends, so it’s not an easy path, but it is important to be open to receiving help from others, and to seek it too.

This is also true for the workplace. Pretending you’ve got it all under control whilst everything is falling apart becomes a nightmare for all. You need to reach out to your Manager and let them know, so they can provide you with the support you need.

I hope this article has helped to open your eyes and introduced a new way of thinking, or perhaps given you a few friendly reminders. If you have a few dangerous ideas of your own, please let me know.